EduCare News- "You Like Me??"

Working in the Medicaid Treatment Child Care (MTCC) program provides opportunity to meet young children whose tragic life stories might rip your heart out, if not for the priceless reward of bearing witness to resilience, blossoming of hope and the tenacity of the young human spirit.

In January of 2008, a very special young boy joined the program. In his 4 short years of life, he had suffered unfathomable abuse at the hands of multiple caregivers, and had thus come to believe that he was not capable or worthy of tenderness. His only known connection with other human beings was through violence, and he set out to "prove" to us who he was through inflicting pain and spewing hatred towards everyone in his path. He could not tolerate being hugged or comforted and could not look us in the eyes.

We refused to confirm what he thought he knew about himself. We refused to give up. His defenses faded gradually – a tentative smile here and there, a quick glance in the eyes, a sideways gesture resembling a hug. The MTCC classroom became his safe haven, and the MTCC staff became the first people in his life who conveyed warmth, acceptance and unconditional love. He started participating more and acting out less. He started to take pride in mastering new skills and learning to cope with his overwhelming feelings.

On Valentine’s Day, after an eventful morning that included decorating cookies and exchanging cards, I had the pleasure of sitting next to him during lunch. While chatting back and forth about the day’s events, I said to him, "I had fun with you today." He stopped eating, looked at me with wide eyes, and asked with complete sincerity, "You like me?" I confirmed to him that I did. I liked him very much.

Since that time, which appeared to be nothing short of a breakthrough for him, he has made significant progress. About a week into March, He approached me with his arms raised, seemingly requesting a hug. I picked him up and held him close; he laid his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me. I rocked him back and forth for about 10 minutes; he did not want me to put him down. The little boy who at one time could not bear to be touched is now the little boy who follows me around all day and wants to be held and hugged. He has accepted what once seemed impossible: he is capable and worthy of giving and receiving love. He is lovable.